www.donnamford.com

It'll be 10 years in July since the police knocked on my door. 10 years of dealing with my past and moving on from the knowledge of what had actually happened. That is such as scary thought as this is a fifth of my life! At the point I'm at now it's all about reflection on what I have achieved in the past 10 years. When I look back at where I was before that day in the summer of 2000. I see me as still quite young, working hard at carving a career for myself as an artist and enjoying fun times with my children. But I also see that underneath all of that, there was this young girl who still had not received answers to the reasons behind such a terrible childhood - to abject cruelty and abuse. I hadn't told anyone about this abuse nor had I questioned it myself. It is only now having uncovered every aspect of it, and all the people involved and responsible for me as a child, I can see that it was just as damaging to keep it all covered over. It has been an incredibly healing thing for me to be able to drop the guilt that crippled me for most of my adult life, to be able to wake in the morning without fear of what would happen next, and to know that the blame has been put squarely at the feet of those responsible for their heinous crimes. It's been a difficult 10 years a rollercoaster of; emotions  flasbacks, fear, dread and terrible pain. But it has also been rewarding because, I have finally found the peace of mind that I have always sought. The most important thing I have done is to tell my story, to give the little girl - locked in that dark room, waiting for her next round of abuse - a voice. There has been much criticism about the genre of books in which my book is categorised, being called "misery memoirs". One particular journalist slated the value of  the writing of stories such as mine, saying that people did not want to hear such terrible stories. I beg to differ on that! Since my first book was published in 2006 I have had literally thousands of letters and E mails globally, not one of these people who written have had anything but nice things to say to me. Many have thanked me for telling my story as it has allowed them the bravery to open up about something dreadful that happened to them as a child. Ultimately for me though, apart from giving me a voice, it has allowed me to take control of a situation I had no control over. I was still a young woman 10 years ago with a little girl weeping inside, now 10 years on I have matured, and that little girl inside no longer weeps she; laughs, runs, plays and sings with joy because she is now free from all the pain and abuse. Had I not taken Helen Ford to court, had I not written my books and used my voice, that little girl that I was would still be weeping inside of me.

I can only say to those of you that would like to criticise the value it gives people like me by writing our stories. You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about! In fact it often sounds like sour grapes coming from an un-published aspiring writer!

Anyway I have a great deal to be thankful for, I have love around me now through my children, my dear friends and family. I have a wonderful talent that sustains and nourishes me. So whilst I'm in this reflective mood! I'd just like to say a big thank you to everyone who has loved and supported me over the past 10 years, and  abig thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read my books and to then write to me. It's never too late to have a happy childhood! Love and light Donna xxxx